Saturday, September 4, 2010

The Key to Creating a Healthy Relationship - Why Good Guys Get Ignored!

Doesn't everyone want the love they have dreamed of? Don't we all wish deep within us to find that fairy tale romance we have watched so many times on television or in the movies?
In order to create a healthy relationship is to love and accept who you are. When you can love and accept yourself then you are poised to fully enjoy a healthy and balanced love life or relationship. Thriving in a relationship with this in mind brings out the best in each other and you may be content to exist in a world of your own creation.

It all begins with self. It is of utmost importance to find yourself and know who you are first. Accept only the characteristics that are important to you, and don't settle for anything less. Start by analyzing what it is you like and want for yourself and then do not make any exceptions. We have become a society of insecurities. When we are insecure we attract others who are also insecure.

Male insecurities come out as over empowering egos and control. When anyone has to convince you how great they are, then obviously, they are not convinced themselves. Too many women relate to those men as "bad boys" when in all actuality they are extremely insecure individuals. They prey on insecure woman. The sad part is that the fine men in this world get unnoticed or ignored because they are considered "too nice". I will admit that I used to be one of those girls. I used to think that "nice" men were boring. They were uncomfortable to be around and why? Because I never felt comfortable with myself!
It all boils down to being insecure or feeling no self-worth. It's time to stop worrying about what others think. It's time to take a step in the right direction. Change the voice in your head that he or she doesn't like you because of your hair, makeup, clothes, looks, personality, etc. This is the time to love and accept yourself for who you are. If someone doesn't like you for whatever reason, so what! It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you. It only means that you are not meant to be together.

Relationships should flow. The old song about "opposites attract" is a fallacy. Sure it is okay to be opposite about some things but all in all, commonalities are easier and the energy flows better between you.
The other important issue here is hoping your partner will change. Love is unconditional. If you cannot accept the person you are with, than move on. If you expect your love interest to change, you are looking for heartache. No one has to change because everyone is special in their own unique way. There is someone for everyone.

When entering into a relationship know who you are and what is important to you. Write a list for yourself and then interview each person you meet. If they follow your list 90% then accept another date. If there are a lot of differences right off the bat then move on. To interview your date all you have to do is ask questions based on your list. Make it a game for yourself. Bring your questions into your conversation. For example, if you are a person who doesn't like to stay out late at night then say, "are you an early riser or do like to sleep in late"? That is what I call a qualifying question. Even though we like to make good first impressions, you are looking for what is best for yourself! You are important and deserve the best and accept nothing less. In the meantime let go of expectations and use dating as an adventure and information gathering session. This way you will find new qualities that you value to add to your list.

Remember to love and accept yourself and know that if it doesn't work out it's not meant to be. If you find someone you think is compatible to you, make sure neither of you relies too much on the other for self worth nor support, as this can become an unwanted burden. With the right attitude and information you can create whatever you want so start creating! You never know, it could even be that nice guy you have ignored.

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