Residual love is a natural occurrence and is good because it means you are in love and have shared a closeness and intimate relationship with someone. This is a gift that is not so easily taken back. It leaves things behind like good memories, fondness and togetherness. It may seem as though it is gone but then there is always residual love to show us it is still hanging around.
When a person is thinking they still love their ex it doesn't necessarily mean they are bound to get back together with them or that it should just magically happen. What you need to do is further ask yourself a few questions, then make a decision based on your answers.
Ask yourself if you want your ex back.
Take a wee step back and ponder it closely. Use your memories to guide you back through the relationship.
If you have come to the conclusion that still loving your ex is simply due to a lingering fondness and you miss having someone around, but are not particularly interested to reunite with your ex, then just go with the flow. There is no need to push in any specific direction. The two of you will either drift apart or remain good friends, which is a unique gift.
If the answer to the question is yes:
- Find out if your ex has an interest in returning to the relationship.
This does not mean that you start pressuring your ex in any way. You will come to know instinctively of his interest so don't push it. Allow a little time to go by and give your partner some space. Let him miss you for a while.
Married Couples
If you are a married couple and feel things are just about to fall apart, and you feel like you are getting know where, it is highly advisable that you seek counseling from a trained professional. If you are already in counseling, it is quite common for a couple to change their counselor and try a new one. You both need a fresh start in the relationship and often times couples need a buffer to help them sort out their feelings and resentments.
Do not feel put off, embarrassed or sorry that you need professional help.
Often times a couple or one person in the relationship is put off by marriage counseling, feeling embarrassed that their marriage needs help. This should not deter you from getting the help you need. It is a very common practice, even with couples that are not facing divorce and many of them will tell you that the counseling they receive has helped them to remain in strong bonds with each other and have a fulfilling relationship.
So put your uptightness aside, and do what is best for your relationship, if that means seeking assistance then that is what you need to do. If so many couples didn't need help, there wouldn't be any marriage counselors to begin with.
Then What?
If you decide you want to reunite with your ex take the necessary steps as mentioned above then take an approach that will help you both fix the parts of the relationship that are broken and caused the break up. This could be either by choosing to go for couples counseling or by a relationship adviser with a plan of action for couples who want to reunite and build a strong relationship foundation with fulfilling rewards for both of you.
When in a break up and residual love is hanging around assess the relationship in your mind by using your memories of the times together and decide if you want to reunite with your ex or not. Then assess if your ex is interested in reuniting. If he is then take an approach that will help you both fix the parts of the relationship that are broken and caused the break up, and put you on the right path to building a resilient, solid, fulfilling relationship.
Triniti Taylor extends an invitation for you to receive Breaking Up Advice on the house to help with moving forward, putting a smile on your face, and a beat back in your heart.
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